The Trouble with A.

The beginning of November heralded a new semester in Pals Lab, therefore new classes, new schedules and a fuck lot to do, doubled up with the stress of all the make-up classes now that the kids are coming back after the swine 'flu panic (laughing on the other side of my face now). One of my new classes is IN1E, with Dean, a brand new kid in bright blue Harry Potter glasses. I can't decide yet if Dean was born as the Korean style Damien, or if he's just playing up, I swing wildly between the two assumptions, depending on what he's like each lesson. Today, he wasn't too bad, except for the time he thought it was funny to play dead on the floor, and was still there, with me trying to haul him up as Sarah teacher walked past. Not impressed.
Dean's mother is somewhat of a complainer. In fact, Dean has been with the school for about 3 months now and she's called at least once a week to moan about something. This begs the question, 'why doesn't she just take him out of school?' The answer to this, dear reader, I can't tell you, I can only assume that she just really likes to complain.
Since I've taken over the class, she's got me into a ton of trouble by complaining that I didn't give the kids homework one class - a disastrous mix up that wasn't really my fault, but still, then not making him do the subsequent two handouts, and, more importantly has complained that I'm confusing her little angel by pronouncing things differently to how they're pronounced on his Triumphs (the book we use) tape. It seems that I'm not American enough for her, which now means that I'm not American enough for Sarah. Sarah's tried this one before with the kindies when Jessica's mum also asked why I was speaking with a strange accent - it's called British, you plum. I got one over on that cowbag by acquiring her other child and now they both have a lovely British pronunciation. Ha! In your face, ajumma! Still, this week I was called into Sarah's office again and reminded that when I teach phonics, I must don an American accent, so that I don't ruin the poor little ones minds. Now, not to pass the buck, but there's a perfectly good American colleague right down the hall, if you want an AMERICAN accent, why don't you use the damn American to teach phonics?! Today's lesson comprised of me vainly attempting to use said accent, I even got lessons from Adam on how to speak with a Yank drawl, but no, it didn't work and I just a) made myself laugh and b) confused the kids even more. It didn't help that Sarah came in to watch most of the class.
I have decided to stop trying with the stupid accent, I have enough of an American twinge anyway and add it to 'stupid things Sarah tells me' pile. For instance, 'you hole punch wrong when making monthly plans' as in, you don't crack out your ruler and spirit level every time you put a piece of paper in a file that will only be seen by you and your co-teacher, 'you can't sit down at all during class', and 'you don't write your 'f's' properly. This all coming from a woman that until last month I thought kept asking me to make the kids read 'frontly', not 'fluently', as she apparently meant. Don't get me wrong, as a woman, I like my boss, but man, has she got some nitpicky ideas.