Things that make me giggle in Korea.

I know, I've got about a million posts to write before I can even think about getting up to date, but I can't be bothered to write a full post. So here's some things that have made me laugh since I've been in Korea. I apologise to most people, who won't find this as funny as I do, but if you're ever around me and want to make me do a little happy wee, then remind me of a couple of these things.... (this will be updated, possibly)...

1)Ajummas. In general. Wearing shower caps on their heads in the rain, dressing in tracksuits, gloves, visors and dust masks, being pushy, bickering and stabbing each other in the back, looking cool, wearing garish make-up (I saw an ajumma the other day wearing a black and yellow mini dress with blue shoes and eyeshadow). Secretly, I think that there are rival ajumma gangs, with different coloured tracksuits to mark their homies. They ride around on public transport and beat people up with hiking poles. It's a worry, it really is.

2) the ajumma we caught walking the wrong way up the escalator, which then turned on, and went downwards. A little bit of wee came out.

3) Anda's swimming technique whilst rafting. And the climbing down the mountain in Deokjeokjo.

4) teaching my kids 'the eye of the tiger' and making them sing it every time we have a spelling test. Which is every lesson. Never fails to make me smile.

5) drunken Korean men - always happy, always either weeing or falling asleep in the street.

6) couples outfits. Why the hell would you do that? Matching trainers, shirts, trousers. Why? We can tell you're a couple from the fact you're all over each other. We don't need flags, too.

7) norebang singing. So many memories. Enter Sandman, Under the Sea, Faye's rendition of 'Ting Tang Tong' that she somehow sang to Koreans without them finding her even a tad racist.

8) my kids. In general, when they're not being shits. From dancing for me, to doing the latest, 'comedy routine' to them looking at me like I'm weird when I'm dancing round the room. They're five and they're disdainful -bless them.

9) Jimjilbangs and Korean pubic hair. 'Nuff said.

10) Jon's drunken fireworks displays. Also that phone conversation. 'Amy is shaving. She very hairy.'

11) Korean biker gangs. They just don't work all that well, do they?

12) Henry. All the time. When he gets his head stuck in loo rolls especially.

13) Rat dogs. Want to kick them. When they're dressed up and in prams is the best. A dog in a pram. The world has gone mad. Well, Korea, anyway. It was made to walk, let it do so, for the love of all that is holy.

14) Watching people eat bondeggi. You can just capture the moment that the pus explodes out and plasters itself to the eater's gums. Yumtastic.

15) The Korean kid in a fellow teachers class that turned up in a t-shirt bearing the legend 'too drunk to fuck'. Legend he is.

16) Fan death. Because Korean people really believe that if you leave your fan/air con on for too long, it will create a vortex sucking all the oxygen out of the air and you will die. Google it if you don't believe me.

17) Konglish. Can't speak Korean? No worries! Stick an 'e' or a 'che' on the end of every word and you're almost there! Similarly, English writing on most t-shirts/pencilcases. Excellent.

18) synchronised dance routines. Join in with me, 'down, down, do it babe, do it babe...' Couple of steps to the left, to the right, forwards, backwards and then turn around. Repeat about 50 times and job done.

19) Ridiculous signs. With a man peeing to denote the male toilets, shop names like 'Athlete's Foot' and so on and so forth.

20) Freaking out about health and germs. Contrary to popular belief, it's what Korean's do best.

21) Making a song for everything. New phones, new computers, infomercials.

22) Infomercials. Like the one selling something that makes you wee harder. Why would you want that?

23) G-Dragon. Korean's most wanted male. And a moron. Lipsychs with the best of them.

That's all for now, but I'll remember about a million things pretty soon, I'm sure. . .